[x]

[APH] Strip Poker - IntroSitting on the couch, a bowl of popcorn on her lap and a bottle of beer in her hand, (Name) just stared at the television that wasn’t even on. She was so bored, but didn’t want to watch anything, since there was never anything on. She thought about watching a movie, but nothing interested her. Next was the brilliant idea of going out, but she was too lazy.

Sighing, she sat the bowl and bottle onto the coffee table and fell over onto the couch. Groaning loudly, she turned over and screamed into the cushion, kicking her legs out. Boredom had a taken a toll on her, and she didn’t want to be alone anymore.

Jumping up, she went

Grub!Karkat x Lusus!ReaderKarkat glared up at you his red eyes challenging, something you were not too worried about. You let out a soft coo to which he made a soft chittering noise in reply. His eyes were drooping, he was a sleepy little wriggler after all. His stubbornness wouldn't let him give in and go to sleep without a fight. You reached for him again, asking him to go to bed, but he just turned his little nose up and looked away. You sighed through your nose and bent down, eye to eye with him and let out a demanding grunt.

He flinched away at first before giving in and crawling to you slowly. He bit your nose out of spite and crawled onto it. Once he had laid

Baby!Dave x Parent!ReaderYou were staring at the ceiling with a blank face. Your eyes were locked onto one thing, it was quite amazing really. Up, high above the room, clinging to the ceiling fan, was Dave. You had no clue how the hell he got up there, but he didn't seem to care. "If you fall on your ass I'm gonna laugh at you, know that right?"

He blinked at you before making a baby noise and letting go of the ceiling fan as if to test what you said. Your eyes widened for a fraction of a second under your shades before narrowing into thin slits of rage. "I see, so you want to test my loyalty do you? Well young Dave, you're about to understand the depth of my affect

Baby!Dirk x Parent!ReaderShades? Check.

Poker Face? Check.

Katana? Che-...

You looked around the living room with a blank face. In the inside though, you were flipping your shit. You were a parent, not only did you have no clue where your katana was, you didn't know where Dirk was. That's when you connected the dots. Your eyes narrowed under your ironic shades. A cheesy flash of unnatural light went over them then the (e/c) of hell shone through. "That little shit."

You flash stepped out of the room and dashed down the hall of your apartment. You threw open door after door until you arrived at your room. By now your Stider face was cracking and a worried sort of

Grub!Tavros x Lusus!ReaderYou were laying on your back, looking at Tavros, he stared back with a frown. Even though you were looking at him upside down he looked right side up. The reason for that is the little grub tried to get off the couch and ended up getting his horns stuck in the floor. You saw no reason to flip him the right way, so you just joined him. He didn't seem to appreciate you not helping him, but it he didn't scare you.

He looked too adorable with his little legs flailing around.

"Crr...nng!" He seemed to be getting frustrated with his inability to get right way around. You reached over and tickled his side, making his contorted face turn into a gle

Grub!Terezi x Dragon Lusus!ReaderYou're a Dragon Lusus in this, only because I wanted to write Terezi and lusus.

And really, who doesn't want to be a dragon?

_______________

"He he he!"

Terezi's tell tale snicker rang out, as she ran past you. You watched her, red eyes following her every move carefully. Its not like it really mattered, you couldn't "see" her anyway. You could smell her tangy blue scent and it quickly wafted past. You wings twitched by your back, ready to launch on a moments notice.

"Terezi, be more careful." You spoke into her mind as she ran around the grass. It was a cool night, perfect for the wrigglers to play. Though with your gigantic size you ha

Inspiration [Denmark x Artist!Reader]

Inspiration. Needless to say it was something you desperately needed. Sitting in front of a blank sketchbook twirling a pencil in your hand, you looked around at your surroundings hoping it might give you an idea.

Unfortunately, it didn't. Your mind was just as empty as ever as it was still aching for some sort of prompt to illustrate.

Maybe someone could help you...? But who could provide the artistic inspiration you needed?

"Hey [Name]!"

The door to your room slams open, and you turn to face the intruder with an unamused expression. Upon seeing just who had came to disrupt your art time, you sighed and uttered t

Papa! South Korea x Child! Reader Pt. 1Papa! South Korea x Child! Reader Pt. 1

Quick Author’s Note: To all my dude friends out there, I just want you to know that this was written for females, so it might be a little weird for you to read it (unless you just replace the ______’s where your name goes with some random little girl’s name and crap, which is fine). But other than that, PLEASE enjoy my very first reader insert to raise South Korea Awareness :3 :3 :3

~*~*~*~*~

Little _______ had never been more cold or scared in her life. She was completely alone, and she was in the dark, and had no idea where she was, and no sense of direction so she could move. Al

RomanoxReader Dat Mustache~

Warning: Since this is Romano we are talking about, expect cussing. You don't like it, well...

"Stupid potato bastard...why the hell does she always hang out with that jackass...." Lovino mumbled as he was walking on the streets of the city. He just left from another meeting. Like always, nothing was decided or resorted and it just ended up with bruises and curses. If you were never there, Lovino would have stopped coming to each pointless meeting along time ago. You were a special one. You didn't mind swear words, you got along with others easily, and you actually treat Lovino in a more caring way than most could ever try. You were beautif

Papa! South Korea x Child! Reader Pt. 3Papa! South Korea x Child! Reader Pt. 3

I will love you forever if you’ve read this far. Even though it’s not really that far…and it’s not really that bad…idk. I love you!!

~*~*~*~*~

__________ tossed and turned in her sleep. She was having a nightmare, or a fever dream. She kept switching from hot and cold, and the frightening scenes running through her head weren’t helping. Tiny beads of sweat began to appear on her forehead, and she could have sworn she heard someone calling her name in the distance. It sounded like her Papa?? However her mind couldn’t take the fever dream for much longer and

Grub!Equius x Lusus!ReaderYou held the small blue grub in your arms, a bottle of milk pressed to his lips. His suckled at it trying to be as gentle as possible. Equius knew he was very strong and how easily he could bruise you, but he never meant to. You smile watching him drink the milk but sighed when he grabbed it with his grub legs. Just as you grabbed a clothe you heard the tell tale sound of plastic being crushed under a strong pressure.

"Auuh!" Equius spluttered as milk fell on his face. His round blue eyes closed to prevent milk from getting in them. When he opened them he looked at you with a stunned expression, like he was offended his bottle blew up in his

Inspiration [Denmark x Writer!Reader]

Inspiration. Needless to say it was something you desperately needed. Sitting in front of your laptop while you drummed your fingers lightly, you looked around at your surroundings hoping it might give you an idea.

Unfortunately, it didn't. Your mind was just as empty as ever as it was still aching for some sort of prompt to take note of and write down.

Maybe someone could help you...? But who could provide the writing inspiration you needed?

"Hey [Name]!"

The door to your room slams open, and you turn to face the intruder with an unamused expression. Upon seeing just who had came to disrupt your writing time, you

.:America x Reader:."(Name)?!"

No answer.

"(Naaaaaame)!"

Still no answer.

Alfred looked around you house, in every room and still no sign of you. In the living room, was a note that read;

'Alfred,
I went to the store to buy some things. Be back soon. Don't break or do anything stupid, okay?
(Name).'

The American rolled his eyes, and ran up the stairs. Coming back down (almost tripping on the way), he jumped down and grinned. Alfred started to run around, his cape (which was actually a blanket) trailing behind him, making "whoosh" sounds. He ran all around your house, until he reached the front of your door, in which you had entered. "Al, I'm h--" You stopp

Papa! South Korea x Child! Reader Pt. 2Quick Author’s Note: So I will be using some more Korean in this series. And instead of using Yong Soo’s “aniki” when he speaks to his brother(s), he’ll be saying “hyeong” (hy-oh-ng) because that’s the correct Korean word for it and I want to make him as in character as possible. …Because “aniki” is actually Japanese.
….And he’s actually Korean. That’s why he’s…South Korea…da ze.
Yeah.

PLEASE ENJOY

~*~*~*~*~

“WHAT IN THE WORLD ARE YOU THINKING, ARU?!?!?! TRYING TO ADOPT A COUNTRY?! YOU?! IS YOUR HEAD ON STRAIGHT, ARU?!” Yao

HetaliaxReader [CRACK] - All because of Oprah

You were currently in your living room, sitting on your red tomato shaped sofa as you watched old Oprah shows. Then, out of the blue, Romano appeared behind your couch and started nibbling on it with much appetite.

Your head shot backwards, glaring at the Italian.

"Dude, what the hell? Stop eating my couch, you bastard!"

Romano paused and stared back up at you.

"My precious..." He whispered in a Gollum voice before pushing you off of the couch and dragging it away with him.

You fell on your butt and rubbed your aching temples. As soon as you opened them, you noticed Matthew's face just inches away from yours.

"Where.Is.My.Maple.Syrup."

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Freak show

by ~judgelinch, Apr 28, 2011, 3:40:54 AM
Fan Art / Fan Fiction / Humor

Парад уродов
- Коллеги, я как ваш редактор собрал вас этим летним днем. Готовим Байки Джаббы Хатта. Ну, заседание начнем!
Итак, просмотрим для начала мы эту сцену 20 раз. А вы про каждого амбала один напишете рассказ. Давайте выбирать героев один рогат, другой хвостат, а для подспорья я построю вдоль стенки кукольный парад.
За мной ранкор! Заметил кто-то, как тот толстяк в унынье впал, когда Люк в горло живоглота обглоданную кость вогнал? Увидев это, я решил, что тот мужик его кормил. Я сочиню вам психодраму.
- А можно мне вот эту даму? Вон ту зеленую, с рогами, она сгодится в мелодраме!
- Гоняй ее по всей планете, но обойдись без секса, Кэти!
- Нет, Кевин, Джабба был мужчиной вот для чего ему рабыни!
- Для красоты, пошлячка Кэти.
- Я напишу о Бобе Фетте, как Бобу выплюнул сарлак, как Бобу спас его джетпак.
- Дались вам эти голодранцы Пиши: за мной гаморреанцы!
- Доверю их специалисту. Но не тяни в рассказ Каллисту!
С клавиатурой синий слон, и биты дуют в саксофон вот средоточие талантов! Кто сочинит про музыкантов? Нет претендующих, ребятки, на текст о дроиде Девятке? В страданья страстно влюблена, пытала дроидов она.
- Не чувствую ажиотажа. Эй, Кевин! Можно персонажа из головы себе возьму?
- Тебе позволю одному!
А вдоль стены стояли куклы ранкор, твилечка и сарлак. Икая, озираясь мутно, ввалился в зал мой пьяный враг. Зан тоже сочиняет байку, он всех ЗВ-шников кумир, и надпись у него на майке: ВСЕ ПИДАРАСЫ Я ШЕКСПИР. Нагая кукла из секс-шопа в его руках сверкает жопой, пол подметая рыжей гривой. Икнул писака шелудивый, воняя страшным перегаром:
- Я напишу про мою Мару!
Пришлось мне урезонить Тима:
- Мы пишем про героев фильма, про тех, кто в кадре побывали!
- А Мару вот не показали! Но моя Мара там была, я напишу и все дела!
Зан плюнул, закурил Прилуки.
- Ей император убить Люка на Татуине приказал, и к Джаббе он ее послал!
От ужаса я задрожал. Мы все тут пишем ахинею, но речи Зана всех глупее. Да чтоб ты, пьянь, сгорел в геенне!
Весь цвет Расширенной Вселенной сейчас сидит передо мной: один со сломанной ногой, второй сидит с рукою в гипсе, тот синяков на мегапиксель, а этот просто одноглазый. Хрипят бессмысленные фразы, блокноты или ноутбуки сжимают их кривые руки, когда ж я вырвусь на свободу с парада всех этих уродов?!

Freak showby ~judgelinch

Fan Art / Fan Fiction / Humor

OTHER EU WRITERS FICS

TRANSLATION

Colleagues, I, as your editor, have summoned you this summer day. We’re preparing "Tales from Jabba’s Palace." Well, the meeting started!
So, for a start we will rewatch this scene for 20 times. And you have to write a story per each bully. Let us choose the characters – horned or tailed, and to help you I will build a puppet parade along the wall.
Rancor for me! Someone noticed, how that fat man fell into despondency, when Luke had shoven a barebone into monster’s throat? Seeing this, I decided that that guy was feeding the creature. I will write you a psychodrama.
“Can I behold this lady? That green, with horns, it will fit in a melodrama!”
“Bay her on the entire planet, but do without sex, Kathy!”
“No, Kevin, Jabba was a man - that's why he kept slave women!”
“To behold their beauty, porny Kathy.”
“I'll write about Boba Fett, how the sarlacc spat Boba out, how Boba’s jetpack saved him.”
“Why do you stick to this trailer park trash! Write: I’ll take Gamorreans!”
“I’ll trust them to the specialist. But do not pull Callista into the story!”
A blue elephant with keyboard, and the Biths are blowing in the saxophone - that's the focus of talents! Who writes about musicians? No volunteers to make up something about the droid EV-9D9? In love with suffering, she tortured droids.”
“I’m not that excited. Hey, Kevin! Can I possibly pull the character from my ass?”
“I allow only you!”
And along the wall dolls were staying - rancor, Twi’lek and sarlacc. Hiccuping, with blurry eyes, my drunken enemy burst into the room. Zahn also writes a tale, he’s the idol of all Warsies, and the caption on his t-shirt is: "Everyone is scum - I am Shakespeare". Naked doll from a sex shop in his hands, sweeping floor with her red mane. The mangy scribbler, stinking with scary fume, hiccuped:
“I'll write about my Mara!”
I had to reason with Tim:
“We write about the characters from the movie, about those who have appeared on screen!”
“They just haven’t shown her! But my Mara was there, I will write - and it works!”
Zan spat, lit a cigarette.
“She was to kill Luke on Tatooine by Emperor’s order, he sent her to Jabba!”
I shuddered with horror. We are all writing nonsense, but the Zahn’s speech is the most stupid. Burn in hell, you drunken trash!
All the cream of the Expanded Universe is now sitting in front of me: one with a broken leg, the second sitting with his hand in plaster, this one is severely bruised, but that one - just one-eyed. Wheezing meaningless phrases, their curved hands shrink notebooks or laptops, when will I break away to freedom from a parade of all these freaks?

~~love 0 0~~

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~chowderl Apr 28, 2011

...

SO MUCH LANGUAGE I DON'T KNOW.

But I like it.

~Klayper Apr 28, 2011

Таких букафф - лень, да))) Наслушавшись отзывов про Трауна, я попыталась хоть про него прочитать... Пару глав осилила, потом надоело. С экрана читать особенно лень

~judgelinch Apr 29, 2011 Hobbyist Writer

Слава богу, ну хоть кто-то не любит хваленого Зана. Он же нудный!!!111адынадын И глупый к тому же.
Я прочитала с экрана где-то 30 книг, может, больше. Потом стала в телефоне читать. Тоже для глаз неудобно, но хоть не сидишь целый день в одной позе, думая о том, что телу неудобно, а не о содержании книги.

~AnkhaiStenn May 6, 2011 Hobbyist Photographer

Не трожьте Зана!!!
У него экшн и имперцы добрые!

~Klayper Apr 28, 2011

Вот здорово!
Прочитала все твои поэмы с большим удовольствием. Жаль, плохо знаю и РВ, и ее авторов... Но мне кажется, все здесь весьма правдиво.

~judgelinch Apr 28, 2011 Hobbyist Writer

Не зря EU русской раскладкой - УГ... "Байки из дворца Джаббы" по-моему - самая худшая книга из тех 46, что я прочитала.
Про авторов оказалось веселее писать, чем про героев!

~Klayper Apr 28, 2011

Пиши еще, и про героев тоже!!! И дядю Жору не забудь, он таки во всем виноват...

~judgelinch Apr 28, 2011 Hobbyist Writer

Над Лукасом и без меня стебутся, тем более, он создал только фундамент.
А про героев у меня, по-моему, УГ выходит.

~Klayper Apr 28, 2011

Поэм про героев тут не лежит)) Ну уж очень здорово! Такого в фэндоме еще не было... Ну что тебе стоит про Галена, скажем, написать

А Лукас, зараза, любит погреть рученьки на всяком кошмаре, позорящем дело его жизни. Его необходимо клеймить как можно больше - для потомков. Они, бедняги, будут ведь думать, что ЗВ всегда были этой кучей хлама... Например, ВК. Даже Диснеевские сериальчики во сто крат интеллектуальнее были.

~judgelinch Apr 28, 2011 Hobbyist Writer

Про героев у меня только проза, там и Гален, и кого только там нет (приквельные джедаи, император со свитой). Еще есть рецензия на Дарта Бейна - белым стихом.
Потомки, если сильно заинтересуются, ознакомятся со всей франшизой, отовсюду по кусочку. А если человеку лень читать многабукафф и он предпочитает мультики и игры - что ж поделать.

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