OTHER EU WRITERS FICS
I woke up early in the morning and played Nirvana. That night I dreamed: I was approaching in the darkness to Zahn's house. I lay in the bushes, bent but did not shoot - I woke up! I walked to the arms shop listening to Cobain, and now I shoot at home in a barn - at a cardboard figure of a man.
And my wife Rebecca began to call the cops:
"You must prevent my hubby's suicide: he intends to shoot himself."
"And why did you get this?"
"His books you have not read, you do not see how the forum offends him in unison for years. And he bought a gun. New acquisition: a revolver and Cobain album!"
And the wife loudly cried:
"You know what that means? Come, confiscate, or I'll become a widow!"
She would have a button on the remote to control me.
And after the challenge of a bungler the cops came to our home and started our conversation:
"You are going to kill yourself or a neighbor? Mister, you're not a brave sniper..."
"There is a law - everyone has a right to have weapons! And I shoot, guys, for mental relaxation. I'm not bothering anyone, I opened shooting range in my barn."
"Citizen, you're hypocrite. Give the CD and a revolver!"
"Why do you need Cobain CD? Take a volume of Darth Bane! On each page various lovely ladies are cut down. I will not reread it. Take that away..."
But the zealous cop was gone with a revolver and Nirvana CD.
"Kevin, but no offense ... you devised a suicide? Do not shoot yourself, for God's sake!"
Without looking at the title, I gave a book to my wife:
"No more cry for me! Don't fear, here, take this and calm down! I need silence when I'm working..."
"Hey, Rebecca! What's for dinner?"
"Oh, sorry, I read... There are potatoes left? Here! Well, wait a bit, I'll boil potatoes... The "Tales from the Cantina" is composed by all the nerds. Zahn inhabits his scribble with Mary Sues. It's queerly that the man identifies himself with a woman. This is weird! You personally know Zahn, he must be a hidden gay?"
I said to her:
"Zahn is married, but Michael Stackpole - he is a die-hard bachelor. I don't know about women, but he's fond of dogs. Zahn and Stackpole pal around, very often visit each other, what do they do at night behind closed doors - I do not even want to know. Enough, I'm busy!"
"Yes, I'll be silent!"
I chewed potatoes in their skins, revealing the draft, but this day I wasn't too creative in Herbert's world. I haven't come up with new chapters. And in my dreams I was wrong: if I make mischief, I'll have to shoot all the family of Tim Zahn - the witness should not live. But another thing is Stackpole! No wife and no kids! I must track him down, as he would invite any friends - or rather, a friend, namely Zahn, then I'll pull the trigger and kill two charlatans! Fair, and not cruel!
With the huge false beard and glasses, under panama, I wander in the morning, in darkness, I watch, when Stackpole invites zahn to see him. I threw off my Dune, I was possessed with my plan.
And when the publisher has already threatened to terminate the contract - I exeeded the time limit - I finally caught them! I climbed on the fence that creaked beneath me (overweight, alas, I will not deny it), and stared at the one lighted window. That's Michael! He pours another cup of tea for Zahn. Stackpole adds sugar... Well, it's time! Now - shoot!
But fence staggered under my weight, I missed Zahn, only broke the glass. Bad luck! A neighbor shouted something, Zahn and Stackpole hid in the corners, I immediately jumped off the fence, what else was going on there - I have not seen, at full speed I ran to my Honda. This evening Tim Zahn escaped bloodshed.